Parenting in the Winter
This year Winter has become very hard to endure. My family has suffered from the stomach flu- twice, ear infections- twice , a two month-long sinus infection + ear infection for me. Over the last 10 days 4 out of 5 of us have succumb to this stomach virus like dominos, each about 3 days apart. It’s torture. I would rather all of us get it and get over it instead of dragging its feet and vomit all over my home for 10 days. For most of the Winter I have hermitted. Because of my battle with SAD and because of my fear of catching yet another bug or virus. Every. single. time… we go anywhere even remotely public, we get sick. And I am sick of it. Apathetic is the best description of how I feel and how I am parenting. (Though I know I am far too hard on myself.) I have these visions of creating magic, creation, harmony, and sparkles. The reality is Max is whining he is bored, Zoey is crying for my attention from Max (usually from atop the dining room table.) While I try to engage them simultaneously, i am finding their age gap of over 3 years a challenge. Max needs to move and in big ways. Max is a extrovert. Max is literally up my ass all day long, “What we do next mom?” For this mama, who is finding herself becoming more and more introverted the longer I am a parent, his constant need for me to be is playmate is slowly driving me batty. So I set him up in front of the TV. This has happened more than I would like to admit, since anyone of us have been sick at any given time over the last 4 months. I try to give myself grace and not guilt for requiring a break.I swear the kid is pushing my buttons and declining any activity because he knows I will just give and say, “Fine just go watch TV.” Trust me I know the issue is me, and not him. Lately I have been craving solitude, and not the 1 am and everyone is asleep and I know I am going to pay for this big time the next day because I will be punk ass tired the next day- kind of solitude. But quality solitude, without holding my breath in fear of being interrupted at any given moment. So when I put the baby down for her afternoon nap, I let max watch TV. He starts asking me as soon as she wakes up when her nap will be… this is a bad habit. I was thinking of getting him some books on tape he can listen to while quietly playing in his room while I get Zoey down. I think the TV withdrawal is going to be something fierce. I understand. I just stepped away from Facebook…possibly forever…but for at least 6 months. It has been refreshing, but the withdrawals are something fierce, which just gives me the resolve to stay away from it more. Having such a severe withdrawal from something doesn’t bode well for be being a healthy part of my life. Back to parenting in the Winter. I really don’t like it. Summer come back soon!