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July 1, 2012

There are things I should be doing right now, instead I look at blogs about things I want to be doing. Things I desire to do with my hands. Like knit, sew, cook, craft, make. My hands are not content in an idle state. Much like the rest of my body,or mind, they prefer to be in motion. Moving forward. So here I sit, idling. My eyes devour all the desires of my heart like less tv for my kids, less computer time for me and my spouse, recipes I will make someday. I love to learn, to consume information. But there needs to be a balance between the reading and learning,and the acting and doing. I am good on the learning and not so good on the implementation. Though for the outside it may seem I get a lot done, but my mind moves faster. And it’s very annoying for my brain to idle, even while my body is in motion. I have so many things I want to do at the same time, I just overload and get nothing done. So here is to increased mindfulness, here is to one thing at a time. Here is to not setting up a plan of action each day to complete all my tasks in the most efficient order. I have my job as a rn to do this, and where these skills are revered. Here at homes need to let go.let go of my frustration when my efficient plans of actions are foiled by the needs of my children. Their needs are more important than completing my task. Here is to letting go, unplugging, and doing things out of order. Because life is not orderly, and trying to make sense of it and force life in to order is using up too much of my energy. Next week, I plan to let life happen. The laundry will get washed, the dishes will get clean, the food will be made. But the order, the efficiency will not be paramount.

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