Throughout my day I compose what I guess would be called writing. These compositions are mainly thoughts, sentences, topics, poems or just “things” I want to remember for later with the same succinct vibrancy. I have “composed” this way well before my little parcel of treacle (AKA this blog) was started. In college I would carry a note pad/ or tape recorder (serious nerd alert). Now, my hands (and mind) are slightly occupied with my children my domestic chores (diapers, laundry, cooking, dishes, or a even a steering wheel) I rarely jot down these thoughts and depend on my severely sleep deprived mind to recall the “perfect thought” at a better time, usually late in the evening. This rarely happens. The original “perfect thought” is blurred like a dream. The outline remains but the guts, the meat, the part where I went “Ah ha”, it’s “succinct vibrancy” – is gone. I might recollect bits and pieces, but rarely enough. Sometimes I am able to fill in the gaps with new thoughts and meanderings. But it’s never like the original. Sometimes it’s better, but I can not grasp the original “moment in thought”. Is this making any sense? Has this, or something similar, ever happened to you?
Lately, I have tried not to worry about “perfection”. This is really hard for me. You wouldn’t know it but I am very particular. Not about big things, but about the little things. I have just tried to be open. The more and more I write (and allow myself time to meditate or simply “think”, the more and more I am buying into the theory of “Collective Consciousness”. As I sit down to put my thoughts down on “paper” , after surfing the net, checking my facebook, email, and blogs I read I am disheartened. Because someone (s) I regularly read has already written about what I was head composing for today, except in a much more articulate and inspired. Then I sit back, shrug, and think, “Well, I guess I don’t have ANY original thoughts”. Which is not the kind of attitude or energy I desire for myself or this blog. This blog is not meant to be an oasis of profound information, but more or less a place where I can ramble and share. If I snag a couple readers along the way, bonus! Why am I running into this problem, or is it really a problem at all? Is is a gift to be tuned into the “Collective Consciousness“? (If this is what is going on?) Being in tune is an asset in my profession, where emotional knowledge is valuable. My colleague informed me last month I diffused a situation without even knowing it conciously by entering the room and offering the patient needed reassurance of their safety. When told of this I didn’t know what she was talking about because the patient seemed fine to me. She informed me she was an anxious wreak until you came into the room and she calmed down. You don’t know how often you do this Kristina. (Ok, I guess. Shrug). Nonetheless. This “gift” is impeding my ability to blog. Or perhaps it is something else. Thoughts?
What experiences or thoughts do you have about the “Collective (un)Consciousness”.