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Dear Maternity Leave

August 12, 2010

Dear Maternity Leave,

Please slow down.

I have way too many things I want to do with you, like lose 20 lbs of baby weight and tone up these cottage cheese thighs, but you insist on flying by. MANY THINGS NEED TO BE DONE.

But you–you sly like a lost pacifier–tease me with your “baby up all night nursing while watching a marathon of How I Met Your Mother until 2 am” followed by “my two-year old poking my face at 6:30am asking for breakfast”. And your name Maternity Leave. Yes, you are a leave, yet not a vacation. I have yet to spend more than 2 hours without needing to burp, hold, feed, soothe another human, usually the baby kind.  Oh you, my Maternity Leave beginning in June ending in August makes a mother(me) think she has some TIME to enjoy the beautiful, albeit sometimes incredibly hot and oppressive, weather. But no, I don’t

I’m onto you Leave. You’re a big tease to us working moms. Sure, I see some moms begging to return to work, but I’m pleading for you, Leave, to slow down, move over into the slow lane. Just a bit. Pretty please with a cherry and sugar on top.


Love ya,

Your Friend Kristina XOXO

p.s. we like totally need to get together soon. I really miss you. I am available until August 30th. That is when I hear you are leaving. Let’s try to connect before you head out. I hope you had a great summer!

p.p.s. Check out this original post I parodied Dear Summer

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